Maybe they are misunderstood. Maybe they had a a little too much blunts and Henny in the studio. Maybe some chick got them sprung. Who knows! Step your game up. Millions are listening.
Here is a list of 25 lyrical missteps that made your favorite rappers wish they could go back in time and rewrite their rhymes:
25. “Verse number 2 do the damn thang keeps on my neck pocket’s full of Ben Franks.”
Yung Joc, “It’s Goin’ Down.”
Album: New Joc City
A classic case of saying…absolutely nothing.
24. “There’s no need to lie folk, Why you sleepin’ wit ya eyes closed?”
Timbaland, “Get on the Bus”
Album: Why Do Fools Fall in Love (Soundtrack)
Well, Tim, if I had to endure your mediocre rhymes all the time I’d definitely sleep with my eyes, ears, and nose closed as well.
23. “I can double my density from three-sixty degrees to seven-twenty instantly.”
Canibus, “Funk Master Flex Freestyle”
Obviously, Canibus slept through 10th grade when they went over units of measurement.
22.“Thirty-eight revolve like the sun round the Earth.”
Jay-Z, “It’s Hot”
Album: Volume 3: Life and Times of S.Carter
And, Jay-Z skipped his Geography class.
21. “N****s in the Bronx call me Lex cause I push a Lex, and I rock a Rolex and I lounge on Lex’, and I love sex.”
Peter Gunz, “Deja Vu: Uptown Baby”
Album: Make It Reign
What are the odds that Cory Gunz ghostwrote this for his dad at age 9?
20. “Never let me slip, cause if I slip, then I’m slippin.”
Dr. Dre, “Nuthin’ But a ‘G’ Thang”
Album: The Chronic
Aren’t we glad that he eventually decided to hire some ghostwriters?
19. “When it’s hot I’m duckin’ them people with my firearm Look I be straight thuggin.“
Turk, “Trife Livin”
Album: Young and Thuggin’
If he’s the one with the firearm, why’s he duckin’?
18.“My paragraph alone is worth five mics (uh-huh) A twelve song LP, that’s thirty-six mics (uh-huh)”
Redman “5 Boroughs”
Album: The Corruptor Soundtrack
Apparently, Redman’s calculator is miles ahead of the game.
17. Don’t try to treat me like I ain’t famous My apologies, are you into astrology Cause I’m, I’m tryin to make it to Uranus
Kanye West, “Gettin’ It In”
Album: Kiss of Death
Oh I get it: there’s Libra, Sagittarius, Scorpio, and then Uranus. And you say Kanye doesn’t deserve to have his image displayed next to the word ‘genius’ in Webster’s Dictionary?
16.”Hood n***a from Bankhead, I stay by Grandma Nana I lay by my banana, dumpin’ and punkin’ monkeys.”
Young Dro, “Shoulder Lean”
With all the money T.I. makes from music and movies, you’d think he would at least invest in a decent ghostwriter for his sidekick.
15.“When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets.”
LFO, “Summer Girls”
Cut them some slack. These guys graduated from the prestigious Vanilla Ice Institute of Hip-Hop and decided to try their hands at random word association.
14. “Sometime y’all get crimey crimey, grimy grimy But those with a tiny hiney they get whiny whiny.”
Cam’Ron, “5 Boroughs”
Album: The Corruptor Soundtrack
Someone should have informed Cam that this choppy choppy rhyme thing is silly silly.
13.“I’m hungry for cheese like Hungry, Hungry Hippo.”
Project Pat (“Ballers”)
Album: Ghetty Green
Extra points for giving us one of the worst songs ever known to man.
12.“If you don’t bring back my m****f*****n money or my m***f****n dope, you can forget about Christmas n***a, cause you ain’t gon even see New Years.”
Master P (“Do You Know”) In Master P’s universe, New Year comes right before Christmas.
11.“It’s like fee, fie, foe, fum, I smell the blood of a jealous a*s punk.”
Prodigy (“Click Clack”)
Album: Blood Money
No longer inspired by hardcore hip-hop, Prodigy turns to nursery rhymes for some equally uninspiring lyrics.
10.”First family will gradually lift that a*s up like gravity.”
Lil’ Fame (of M.O.P.) (“Half and Half”)
Sire Isaac Newton must be turning in his grave right now.
9.“I like the way ya ass move to the beat You a freak, that’s somethin’ you can be.”
J-Kwon (“Show Your A**”)
Album: Hood Hop
You see, kids, that’s another reason why you should stay in school.
8. “D.D.T. the b**ch, I can go for some hours. Let Parlae hit, together we like twin towers.”
Pimpin (“Freaky as She Wanna Be”)
Album: On Top of Our Game
A terribly humorless and tasteless joke. Enough said.
7.“I like them black, white, Puerto Rican, or Haitian Like Japanese, Chinese, or even Asian.”
Chingy (“Balla Baby”)
As far as Chingy’s concerned, Asian is a nationality damnit.
6.“I’ll break it down for you now, baby it’s simple If you be a nympho, I’ll be a nympho.”
50 Cent (“Candy Shop”)
Album: The Massacre
Well, what do you expect from an artist whose stage moniker in itself constitutes a grammatical mishap?
5.“Thirty-two grams raw, chop it in half, get sixteen, double it times three. We got forty-eight, which mean a whole lot of cream Divide the profit by four, subtract it by eight We back to sixteen…”
Foxy Brown (“Affirmative Action”)
Album: It Was Written
This holds the world record for worst mathematics on a song.
4.“Got a Bill in my mouth like I’m Hillary Rodham.”
Ali G (Grillz)
3.“Young, black, and famous, with money hanging out the anus.”
Mase (“Can’t Nobody Hold Me Down”)
Album: No Way Out
Now, that’s the type of money I definitely wouldn’t want to touch before breakfast.
2.“I watch my back when I’m walkin, I watch my mouth when I’m talking. My glock cocked when I’m crawling.”
Mike Jones (“Scandalous H**s”)
Album: Who is MIke Jones?
What’s next? I watch my ears when I’m hearing, I watch my sight when I’m seeing?
1. Now you know that I’m the Queen of Miami. All that loud talkin, lyin, save that sh*t for your mammy. Sounds like “blah, blah blah, blah bla blah-blah,” I’m like uh-huh (uh-huh) okay (okay), Whassup (whassup) SHUT UP!”
Trina (“Here We Go”)
Album: Glamorest Life